During the process of writing Exit: The Life and Death Planner, Margaret, a dear friend of mine, supported us in this journey, telling us this book was a must for all. As soon as it was published, she bought 10 books, and many more in time, and handed them out to family and friends.
Margaret was a very special person, she volunteered with Dying with Dignity, and was on many communities supporting senior issues. She was a well organized woman; so organized, that she asked me to be her 96-year-old husband’s POA (Power of Attorney) and Health Representative, just in case she died first, but mostly because when she traveled to Scotland each year I could be there to help her husband with the odd bill payment or just be on hand. In the summer of 2018, Margaret and Jim sold their house and were looking so forward to moving into an assisted living accommodation. However, before the move occurred, Margaret, at the age of 86, ended up in Vancouver General Hospital, dying a few weeks later, never to go back home. I took on the role of POA and Health Representative for Jim, and with Jim being the sole executor of the will, I was left to complete the role of executor also. Within weeks, I had inherited a new person into my life, helping him with all his life events, and dealing with his wife’s death. If you’ve read the introduction to Exit: The Life and Death Planner, you'll know I had done this 15 years earlier for my parents, but for a friend it’s even harder. What did I know about Jim’s life other than being his friend? I soon discovered the challenges involved in being an executor. I had to empty Margaret and Jim's house, move Jim into assisted living with full care, attend to all Margaret’s estate affairs, call friends and family about Margaret’s death and celebration of life, cancel all her medical appointments, acquaint myself with Jim’s medical team, get new banking set up (a complicated task), cancel Margaret’s reward points and financial cards, her memberships with many organizations, her subscriptions... well the list goes on. Luckily for me, Margaret was very organized, and with the help of our filled-in book, I had all the information I needed to tackle these tasks. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a lot of work – but having the book completed made it easier. I knew what Margaret's wishes were (yes we had the bagpipes at her celebration of life and her ashes went to Scotland) and I knew where things could be found. (If she hadn’t given instructions about where her safety deposit key was, how would I have found it when emptying out an entire house within a few weeks?) I never realized I’d need our book so soon, but life is always so unpredictable – so leaving a loved one your information about yourself is a wonderful gift that needs to be done. And I now truly understand why Margaret kept pushing me to complete writing our book. Thank you Margaret, I miss you.
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